Courage, soldier. England's team might be heading into the upcoming Ashes Test now 2-0 down, but some remain within the England setup is deterred. Exists one group ideally equipped for these circumstances, a crack(pot) unit who consider themselves the supreme doomsday preppers. Is optimism crushed? Are you crushed beneath the weight of crushing defeat? Well then, rally to the Barmy Army.
Already, their first wave are descending upon Adelaide, the city where they officially formed 30 years ago. England's most famous – and for their size noisiest – tourist followers will be hoping for an anniversary win-against-the-odds, similar to the one they celebrated on that historic tour. And no matter the outcome on the pitch, away from the field the parties will be protracted and hearty.
"The cricket's been incredibly disappointing," a veteran states, "yet we're the blessed group, because we're on holiday. It's likely harder for the people at home."
Despite Bazball's nuclear implosion doesn't trouble this band of seasoned campaigners. They've been watching England's innings meltdowns since prior to a new generation were born. They've seen more dropped catches than key pacemen have career scalps. Their touring history as an Ashes supporters' club stands at: contested many, lost often, won seldom. The people who understand how to endure a whitewash, that would be the original supporters.
Indeed, if you're watching, the Barmy Army are seen to be everywhere in this contest. Host broadcasters at the grounds sometimes appear keener to feature the Barmies than on their own fans. TV partners frequently use them as entertainment-focused lead-in to a day's play. Even the cricketers on the field are heralding them, as a supporter portraying a king starting a singing of a patriotic song.
Perhaps that the Barmy Army's mix of endurance and omnipresence has now obscured quite how remarkable their rise of away support has been. Three decades ago a few followers were brought together in comical humour about failure at England's dismal away record. Now their legacy is so intertwined with the men's Test side that their vibrant, "maverick" crowd is practically part of the furniture. They've undoubtedly come a far since the early days.
One veteran can picture the excited anticipation of the opening day of that 1994-95 tour. After the hosts making a strong start, he started a six-person conga in the stands, provoking the home fans with a tune about historical figures. "Local crowds shouted insults at us, then threw plastic cups – the kind of thing that we still get today," he says. "However when we got back our little group of England followers had all participated."
After an early setback, England's tour suffered more defeats. Those travelling with the team around the country was considered truly dedicated. As the tour reached the bigger venues their ranks had grown significantly. The players, however, genuinely enjoyed their noise at the grounds. When England secured a face-saving victory, a star invited a fan leader up to the team balcony to lead the celebrations. Such camaraderie has endured.
Additionally, the sheer numbers the Barmy Army can attract are as attractive to the sport as they are to overseas venues. On this tour alone, their official tours will accommodate a significant contingent of supporters. Numerous activities are scheduled for the three-decade milestone.
This is, after all, an group born of fan enthusiasm and business acumen. The explanation they trace their origin to a specific Test is because that was when they started selling branded clothing. The first small batch was so quickly sold out – and financially rewarding – that it launched a lasting enterprise. Over the years, the co-founders have helped turn a fan community into an major sports tourism business.
That brings its own issues, notably at a time when sport is attempting to move beyond some of its lads-lads-lads image. The Barmy Army's leadership are quick to note that a growing percentage of their supporters on tour are now women. With societal shifts, the chants have had to get less offensive, too. "Things that were common 30 years ago you must avoid now, and that's absolutely right," says a director. "It's not possible to tell someone how to behave individually, but we will not promote songs that are derogatory."
Might the Barmy Army mellow naturally? The mean age of fans is now approaching middle age – mirroring the founders themselves, who have been happy to withdraw from the day-to-day running. One founder is enjoying this tour purely as a fan – leaving a fresh team to manage the Barmy Army's digital presence. "We forget how difficult it used to be to organise with each other," he chuckles. "We used to do it all by shouting – 'everyone's going to the pub!'"
Regarding this Ashes series, the unlikely scenario of a series victory persists, which is classic Barmy Army indeed. And if England do lose in Adelaide … well, the next tour awaits.
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